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Browsing all articles in Jokes.

Baptizing A Drunk, Joke

Baptizing A Drunk A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, ‘Are you ready […]

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Irish Drinking Joke – “You’ve Been Drinking Again”

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober […]

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Irish Drinking Joke – “Lost at Sea”

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, […]

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Irish Drinking Joke – “The Brother”

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.” Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman […]

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Irish Drinking Joke – “Water to Wine”

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest. The trooper says, “Then why do I […]

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Irish Drinking Joke – “The Errand”

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. “S’cuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, “what was that all […]

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Drunk Bar Joke

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, “No way buddy you’re too drunk.” A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs, “give me a drink”, bartender says “No man I told you last time you’re too drunk” Five […]

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Drunk Shy Guy Joke, Bar Joke

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her […]

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The Best Bar in Ireland Joke, Irish Drinking Joke

“Ya know” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In St. Andrews there’s a wonderful little bar called McTavish’s. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals, so much that when you buy 4 drinks he’ll buy the 5th drink for you.” “Well”, said the Englishman, “At my  local, […]

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Drinking Joke, DUI Joke

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?” “I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the drunk. “Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few.” “I did alright,” the drunk says with […]

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