Wine Flu Breaking News, Flu Pandemic, Wine News

BREAKING NEWS – WINE FLU PANDEMIC!!

I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc. From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.

This debilitating condition is very serious – and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately rent a DVD and take some Advil (Advil seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are reporting a McDonald’s happy meal or a Double-double meal from In-n-out also helps in some cases.

If not, then further application of the original liquid in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick.

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period. Although the wine flu can closely resemble the symptoms of the swine flu, don’t panic, your symptoms will be gone in about a day.

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