The Best Bar in Ireland Joke, Irish Drinking Joke

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“Ya know” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In St. Andrews there’s a wonderful little bar called McTavish’s. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals, so much that when you buy 4 drinks he’ll buy the 5th drink for you.”

“Well”, said the Englishman, “At my  local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2.”

“Ahhhhh, that’s nothing laddies”, said  the Irishman. “Back home in me own Killarney, there’s Ryan’s Bar. Now, the moment  you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks they’ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!”

The Englishman & Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman’s claims. But he swears every word is true.

“Well,” said the Englishman, “did this actually happen to you?” “Not to me meself, personally, no,” said the Irishman . . .“but it did happen to me sister.”

MillerCoors Company Launched, Miller and Coors Merge

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Miller Brewing Company and Coors Brewing company has just annouced that they will become MiilerCoors. and Board members have been named.

From BrewBlog.com:

SABMiller plc and Molson Coors Brewing Company today announced the closing of the transaction to create MillerCoors.

MillerCoors, which combines their U.S. and Puerto Rico operations, begins operating as a combined entity on July 1.

“As a unified company with a world-class board and leadership team in place, MillerCoors will be able to create tremendous opportunities for innovations in products and services that will allow us to drive profitable growth,” Pete Coors, Chairman of MillerCoors, said in a release announcing the closing. “Personally, I am thrilled to be part of such an exciting and innovative organization and look forward to serving as the Chairman of this new business.”

Graham Mackay, Chief Executive of SABMiller, in the release said: “Today is an historic day in the American beer business, not only for the shareholders of both SABMiller and Molson Coors, but for MillerCoors consumers, employees, distributors and business partners. Now that the transaction has closed and MillerCoors is a reality, the strong leadership team we have put in place is ready to execute and realize the tremendous potential of this great organization.”

The two companies also announced the 10 directors of the MillerCoors board. They are:

• Pete Coors, Vice-Chairman of Molson Coors Brewing Company and Chairman of the MillerCoors Board
• Graham Mackay, Chief Executive Officer of SABMiller plc and Vice-Chairman of the MillerCoors Board
• Peter Swinburn, President and Chief Executive Officer of Molson Coors
• Sam Walker, Global Chief Legal Officer and Corporate Secretary of Molson Coors
• Stewart Glendinning, Global Chief Financial Officer of Molson Coors
• Dave Perkins, President, Global Brand and Market Development of Molson Coors
• Malcolm Wyman, Chief Financial Officer of SABMiller plc
• Nick Fell, Group Marketing Director of SABMiller plc
• Johann Nel, Group Human Resources Director of SABMiller plc
• Sue Clark, Corporate Affairs Director of SABMiller plc

According to pro forma figures for the year ended March 31, MillerCoors earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization of $991 million, up nearly 18 percent from the year-earlier period. Its revenues were $7 billion, up 6 percent. It shipped 70.1 million barrels to wholesalers, up 1.6 percent.

Leo Kiely, Chief Executive of MillerCoors, said in the release: “MillerCoors will be entrepreneurial, with the ability to operate with speed and agility in the marketplace, backed by the powerful combined resources of two exceptionally successful companies. We will drive profitable growth and bring new energy to the U.S. beer industry. Our focus now is to deliver on the $500 million in identified annualized cost synergies by improving sourcing across our eight major breweries, building a streamlined organization and leveraging the scale of the new company. Our talented people are experienced and passionate about this business and – importantly – are determined to win.”

Anheuser-Busch Plans For a Future Without InBev

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Budweiser LogoAnheuser-Busch Company has been considering some changes to stay independent of being bought out by InBev. Some of the considerations of the Anheuser-Busch Company are major cuts in workforce and raises in beer prices. Higher prices for watered down beer and has less taste than Miller Lite?  For some reason i dont think this is going to work out too well for them.

Article from msnbc.msn.com:

CHICAGO/BRUSSELS - Anheuser-Busch Cos Inc. on Friday laid out a plan to cut $1 billion in costs and improve earnings as it tries to convince investors that InBev NV’s $46.3 billion offer for the largest U.S. brewer was too low.The program, which the company calls “Blue Ocean” was made even as InBev said on Friday it was mulling what steps to take next after Anheuser-Busch rejected its $65-a-share offer on Thursday.

The plan includes cutting 10 to 15 percent of its salaried workforce through early retirement and attrition, speeding up price hikes to cope with rising commodity costs, and setting earnings forecasts that exceed Wall Street’s expectations.
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The company also said it planned to repurchase a total of $7 billion in shares this year and next, up from its previous repurchase target of $3.8 billion.

“We believe we can create much more value than the $65 a share over the course of time, and we believe also that the $65 a share significantly undervalues the iconic brands that we have,” August Busch IV, president and chief executive, told Reuters in an interview.

He declined to give a specific value for Anheuser’s total value, but did say that its new 2009 earnings-per-share forecast of $3.90, multiplied by 18 times — the stock’s multiple before the InBev offer — suggested a $70 value even before considering the double-digit earnings increases it projects after 2009.

The blueprint does not include selling the company’s packaging unit or its SeaWorld and Busch Gardens theme parks — two businesses that some analysts thought the company might divest in order to focus on its main brewing business.

Anheuser-Busch shares were 1.8 percent higher to $62.48 on Friday afternoon on the New York Stock Exchange but were still below InBev’s $65-a-share offer.

A bird in the hand?
But some analysts questioned whether Anheuser’s plan would do much to boost investors’ spirits.

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” said Morningstar analyst Ann Gilpin. “Are you going to take your bet that maybe the stock price can go up and management can deliver, or are you going to take $65 (a share) in cash today?”

Brian Rogers, chairman and chief investment officer of T. Rowe Price Group, questioned whether Anheuser-Busch could generate a plan that would raise its shares to $65 and said he would probably sell the shares at $63 to $64. T. Rowe price owned 17.4 million shares at the end of March and was Anheuser-Busch’s fifth-largest shareholder.

“I don’t think the company can come up with a plan to get the stock up there and keep it up there,” he said. “Even a leveraged recap I can’t imagine would get it to $65 and keep it there.” Rogers was not commenting specifically on the plan the company announced when he spoke to reporters on the sidelines of Morningstar’s annual investment conference.

The maker of Budweiser and Michelob beer wrote to reject InBev’s takeover bid on Thursday, but left the door open to a higher bid that would create the world’s largest beer maker.

InBev, which makes Beck’s and Stella Artois beer, was mulling its next move after filing a lawsuit on Thursday to try to establish that Anheuser-Busch shareholders could remove Anheuser’s entire board of directors.

“We will carefully study the letter and will respond in due course,” an InBev spokeswoman said.

Anheuser-Busch executives said they would “challenge” InBev’s claim that the board could be removed without cause.

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Celebrity Victoria Beckham Drunk, Drunk Celebrities

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Celebrity David Beckham Drunk, Drunk Celebrities

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Anheuser-Busch to Reject InBev’s Bid, Fighting for Independence

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Anheuser-Busch to reject InBev’s unsolicited bid to take over the company.  But will A-B be able to fight off InBev’s unsolicited, $46 billion bid?

From the Wall Street Journal: Anheuser-Busch Cos. is prepared to reject InBev NV’s unsolicited $46.35 billion acquisition offer as early as this week, setting the stage for a hostile takeover battle for America’s largest brewer, according to people familiar with the matter.

Anheuser is expected to argue that InBev’s offer undervalues the maker of Budweiser beer and soon will present its own strategic plan. That plan, which is likely to include the sale of noncore assets such as Anheuser’s theme parks, is designed to boost the company’s share price, these people said.

Ultimately, the move isn’t likely to deter InBev, which has put together a carefully crafted battle plan, according to people familiar with the matter. InBev, of Leuven, Belgium, is prepared to take its offer directly to Anheuser shareholders via a tender offer that Anheuser has few defenses to stop, these people said. Many investors have expressed support for the bid, which represents a roughly 30% premium to where Anheuser shares traded before the offer.

Anheuser-Busch Will Stop Selling Alcoholic Energy Drinks

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As a result of a legal settlement, Anheuser-Busch will stop selling caffeinated alcoholic energy drinks. This began in February of 2008, the alcoholic energy drinks include the “Tilt” and “Bud Extra” brands. This was mainly due to the fact that many of today’s youth drink energy drinks, and don’t want to market alcohol to young adults

From azcentral.com: ST. LOUIS - Anheuser-Busch Cos. will quit selling caffeinated alcoholic drinks as part of a legal settlement with several state attorneys general, New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo said Thursday.

Anheuser-Busch was marketing its caffeinated drinks to minors and misrepresenting the drinks’ health benefits, Cuomo said. He was among 11 attorneys general who reached a settlement with the nation’s largest brewer.

Anheuser-Busch did not immediately respond to a request for comment. The company has long been dogged by accusations that its marketing for the caffeinated alcoholic drinks targets those under the legal drinking age, thereby encouraging illegal sales. The St. Louis-based company has steadfastly denied the charges.

In February, the attorneys general subpoenaed documents from Anheuser-Busch related to its marketing efforts for the alcoholic energy drinks, which include the “Tilt” and “Bud Extra” brands. The investigation was sparked by concerns that the drinks were targeted to teenagers and young adults already drawn to highly caffeinated drinks like Red Bull.

Documents reviewed in the case appeared to validate that concern, according to Cuomo’s statement. A news conference involving other attorneys general was planned for later Thursday.

“Drinking is not a sport, a race, or an endurance test. Adding alcohol to energy drinks sends exactly the wrong message about responsible drinking, most especially to young people,” Cuomo said in the statement. “This agreement keeps these dangerous products off our shelves and makes it clear that targeting underage consumers with advertisements for alcohol will not be tolerated.”

Anheuser-Busch also agreed to pay $200,000 to the states that investigated the brewer’s practices. In addition to New York, those states include Arizona, California, Connecticut, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, New Mexico, and Ohio.

Cuomo said the states continue to investigate other companies selling alcoholic energy drinks.

Top 10 Summertime Drink Recipes, Best Summer Cocktail Recipes

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After this recent ridiculous heat wave that gave me more of a hangover than alcohol could ever do, I decided to compile a list of the Top 10 Drink Recipes to help you cool off on those hot summer days. So next time you find yourself sweating your ass off wile doingnithing more than sitting, make sure to try one of the Drinks off our Top 10 Summertime Drink Recipes List!

Enjoy the heat!

1. Rum and Coke

2. Mojito

3. Long Island Iced Tea

4. Sex on the Beach or Sex on the Beach #2

5. Kamikaze

6. Mai Tai

7. Hop Skip and Get Naked

8. Jager Bomb

9. Jello Shots

10. Pina Colada

High Gas Prices Hurt Beer Sales, Economy Hurting Beer Sales

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American Beer Companies may start to take some damage in sales due to the slowing economy. Gas prices now costing more than beer, housing prices still too high, and people cutting back on going out to bars/restaurants for drinks, beer sales will decline. More and more people are staying in and drinking beer at home due to this, or just not spending money on beer at all. Below is an article from Brew Magazine that takes a deeper look into the effects that the economy is having on beer sales and our general way of living.

From BrewBlogs Brew Magazine: The beer business is generally considered recession-resistant, if not recession-proof, because its products span the spectrum of consumer tastes and price points.

But that doesn’t mean beer doesn’t get pinched during tough times.

With the economy slowing and gas prices rising, consumers cut back on going to bars and taverns. They go out to eat less. And while sometimes those consumers enjoy a beer at home, that’s not always the case.

“Thankfully, beers are still quite affordable, but yes, I think when people have less disposable income every week, something like beer is affected,” says Miller Brewing Company CEO Tom Long.

Making it worse for brewers and distributors: Every input cost — gas, corn, grain, hops, barley and aluminum — is rising. Costs are climbing even as off-premise business tails off. And high prices at the pump affect everything that moves, including consumers.

“I think it (gas prices and the economy) is probably going to slow the industry down,” says industry consultant Joe Thompson, who predicts growth this year to come in somewhere between flat and a 1 percent increase. “And on the cost side of the equation it’s getting whacked pretty good. Fuel costs are going up. Insurance costs are going up. Everything is going up.”

For Miller’s part, it’s sticking with its strategy of “stoke, exploit and protect,” which offers consumers a variety of options at different price points.

So it’s a tough environment. And it could be for a while. But beer industry veterans say the best way to proceed is by sticking to strategy instead of panicking at the first sign of trouble.That means investing in your business and staying focused.

“It would seem to me that the most important thing would be to not just overreact,” says John Greening, a former advertising executive who worked on the Anheuser-Busch business and now is an advertising professor at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism.

So far the leading domestic brewers appear to be hewing to their longer-term strategies.

They’ve spent the past few years focusing on their mainstream brands even as they try to tap into the high end in competition with the growing competitive set of imports, crafts, wine and spirits. And — as seen by new product introductions, the brewers’ focus on highermargin beers and ongoing marketing investment behind their main brands — that’s continuing even in the midst of the slowing economy.

Distributors also emphasize focus.

“We’re sticking to our business plan to drive premium and above-premium volume,” says Jim Doney, president of Chicago Beverage Systems, which handles Miller, Coors and a host of other brands. “You’ve got to stick with your plan.”

Brewers and distributors are also keeping a close eye on consumers and what they they’re doing.

The biggest concern in the trenches is how high gas prices will go. With the price of a gallon cracking $4 in some markets well before Memorial Day, many distributors are concerned about how gas prices will affect their margins and the business overall.

Besides cutting into disposable incomes, high gas prices also force consumers to cancel vacations, day-trips and other outings that may be beer-drinking occasions.

“If the price of gas keeps climbing … and stays above $4, I think that’s going to have an impact,” says Mike Gallagher, executive vice president of Miller Brands in Milwaukee.

A-B and Miller said that volumes were disappointing during their latest quarters. But both made it plain they will continue marketingnto drive sales in the summer.

“Marketers have to resist the temptation to cut marketing spending,” says Tim Calkins, clinical professor of marketing at Northwestern University’s Kellogg Graduate School of Management. “The problem is your equity can erode very quickly. All of a sudden you lose what makes your brand unique. You stop reminding people about what makes the brand special.”

A-B appears committed to its effort to energize its core brands. It’s doing that partly by increasing marketing spending behind Budweiser and Bud Light (although the Bud family continued to decline during the first quarter).

A-B is also investing in new-product launches — always an expensive endeavor. It launched Bud Light Lime just before Cinco de Mayo.

This fall it’s launching Budweiser American Ale. Both brands are priced above premium.

Bud Light Real Men of Genius Commercial List

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By far some of the funniest 60 second commercials ever made for a beer are the Bud Light, Real Men of Genius Commercials.

From Wikipedia: “Real Men of Genius is a popular long-running humorous series of one-minute-long American radio advertisements for Bud Light beer created by Bob Winter, a copywriter at DDB Chicago. Each sixty-second ad pays mock tribute to an “unsung hero”. The series began in 1999 and was originally called Real American Heroes. The name was changed after the 9/11 attacks, as Anheuser-Busch felt that they could not morally continue to use the term “hero” in that context after so many people had performed what many felt to be genuine acts of heroism. As of 2006, over 100 installments in the series have been produced. Winter’s campaign has since become the most award-winning radio campaign in the history of advertising. Television versions have also been produced of some of these spots beginning in 2003. The first two TV versions were “Mr. Footlong Hot Dog Inventor” and “Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer”.

The ads feature a somber-but-sarcastic announcer (Pete Stacker) and an unctuous rock singer who echoes the announcer’s sentiments over schmaltzy “dramatic” piano music. The rock singer’s vocals are by original Survivor lead singer David Bickler (who oddly enough met Survivor co-founder Jim Peterik while doing commercial jingles in the mid 1970s) and is known for such songs as Eye Of The Tiger, Poor Man’s Son, Caught In The Game, American Heartbeat & Rebel Girl. The music, designed to spoof the 1980s power ballad and 1980s advertising, was composed by Sam Struyk and Sandy Torano at Scandal Music, Chicago. A female gospel-style chorus is also heard in many of the ads.”

Here is the list of Bud Light Real Men of Genius List of Commercials since they started up in 2000.

2000 commercials

* Mr. Bass Plaque Maker
* Mr. Bowling Shoe Giver Outer
* Mr. Bumper Sticker Writer
* Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy
* Mr. Driving Range Ball Picker Upper
* Mr. Fake Tattoo Inventor
* Mr. Foot Long Hot Dog Inventor
* Mr. Fortune Cookie Fortune Writer
* Mr. Garden Gnome Maker
* Mr. Giant Foam Finger Maker
* Mr. Hawaiian Shirt Pattern Designer
* Mr. Inspirational Poster Writer
* Mr. Jelly Donut Filler
* Mr. Losing Locker Room Reporter
* Mr. Major League Infield Raker
* Mr. Male Football Cheerleader
* Mr. Outside the Stadium Peanut Seller
* Mr. Parking Attendant Flashlight Waver
* Mr. Pickled Pig’s Feet Eater
* Mr. Pit Crew Water Bottle Squirter
* Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer
* Mr. Professional Movie Extra Guy
* Mr. Putt Putt Golf Course Designer
* Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer
* Mr. Supermarket Deli Meat Slicer
* Mr. Underwear Inspector #12
* Mr. Wrecking Ball Operator

2001 commercials

* Mr. All You Can Eat Buffet Inventor
* Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker
* Mr. Company Computer Guy
* Mr. Edible Underwear Maker
* Mr. Experimental Medications Tester
* Mr. Golf Ball Washer Inventor
* Mr. Hockey Organ Player
* Mr. Horsedrawn Carriage Driver
* Mr. Male Fur Coat Wearer
* Mr. Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator
* Mr. Professional Figure Skater
* Mr. Professional Movie Extra Guy
* Mr. Renaissance Fair Performer
* Mr. Restroom Toilet Paper Re-Filler
* Mr. Supermarket Free Sample Guy
* Mr. Wedding Band Guitar Player

2002 commercials

* Mr. Airport Baggage Handler
* Mr. Athletic Groin Protector Inventor
* Mr. Beach Metal Detector Guy
* Mr. Boombox Carrying Rollerskater
* Mr. Centerfold Retoucher
* Mr. Fancy Coffee Shop Coffee Pourer
* Mr. Fancy Restaurant Valet Guy
* Mr. Giant Inflatable Pink Gorilla Maker
* Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor
* Mr. Handlebar Mustache Wearer
* Mr. Hollywood Plastic Surgeon
* Mr. Parade Float Driver
* Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer
* Mr. Souvenir Snow Globe Maker
* Mr. Sports Fan Face Painter
* Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer
* Mr. Tuxedo Shop Tux Renter
* Mr. Used Car Lot Auto Salesman

2003 commercials

* Mr. Airline Meal Chef
* Mr. Art School Model Guy
* Mr. Baseball Designated Hitter
* Mr. Books on Tape Inventor
* Mr. Cargo Pants Designer
* Mr. Civil War Battle Re-Enactor
* Mr. Cruise Ship Entertainer
* Mr. Discount Suit Salesman
* Mr. Dishonest Cable TV Hooker Upper
* Mr. Furniture Assembly Manual Writer
* Mr. Giant Pocket Knife Inventor
* Mr. Grocery Store Cart Wrangler (TV)
* Mr. Homemade Pontoon Boat Maker
* Mr. In the Car Nose Picker
* Mr. Major Highway Line Painter
* Mr. Movie Theater Ticket Ripper Upper
* Mr. Multi Colored Sweater Wearer
* Mr. Next Day Carpet Installer
* Mr. Pet Toy Designer
* Mr. Pro Sports Heckler Guy
* Mr. Push Up Bra Inventor
* Mr. Really Big Pet Snake Owner
* Mr. Really Large Body Building Guy
* Mr. Really Stinky Breath Breather Outer
* Mr. Really, Really, Really Bad Dancer
* Mr. Street Lamp Bulb Screwer-Inner
* Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer

2004 commercials

* Mr. Accordion Player Guy
* Mr. Adult Film Movie Actor Guy
* Mr. Animal Husbandry Expert
* Mr. Bathroom Stall Dirty Joke Writer
* Mr. Clip on Tie Inventor
* Mr. Discount Airline Pilot Guy
* Mr. Doctor Tree Surgeon
* Mr. Excited About Storms Weatherman
* Mr. Extra, Extra Strong Glue Maker
* Mr. Gangsta Rapper Posse Member
* Mr. Gas Station Sandwich Maker
* Mr. Ghetto Car Driver
* Mr. Guy Wearing a Poncho
* Mr. High Protein Diet Guy
* Mr. Hot Stock Tip Advice Giver Outer
* Mr. In the Park Cartoonist
* Mr. Miniature Train Modeler
* Mr. Motorcycle Side Car Rider
* Mr. New Shoe Tissue Paper Stuffer
* Mr. Over The Top Carb Counter
* Mr. Oversized Fanny Pack Wearer
* Mr. Personal Space Invader
* Mr. Portable Toilet Cleaner-Outer
* Mr. Reality TV Show Star
* Mr. Really, Really Tight Jean wearer
* Mr. Restaurant Food Critic Guy
* Mr. Tiny Dog Clothing Manufacturer
* Mr. Warehouse Shopping Club Member
* Mr. Way too Much Team Clothes Wearer

2005 commercials

* Mr. “Kiss Me I’m Irish” Pin Wearer
* Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer
* Mr. After Halloween Costume Shop Salesman
* Mr. Backyard Bug Zapper Inventor
* Mr. Basketball Court Sweat Wiper Upper
* Mr. Ceremonial First Pitch Thrower Outer
* Mr. Department Store Mannequin Dresser Upper
* Mr. Egg Nog Inventor
* Mr. Electric Carving Knife Inventor
* Mr. Frozen Turkey Helpline Guy
* Mr. Gasoline BBQ Starter
* Mr. Humongous Pumpkin Grower Guy
* Mr. Jean Shorts (JORTS) Inventor
* Mr. King of the Karaoke Mic
* Mr. Labor Day Inventor
* Mr. Las Vegas Trip Taker
* Mr. Law Enforcement Cavity Searcher
* Mr. Mail-Order Bride Orderer
* Mr. Moped Souper-Upper
* Mr. Nosebleed Section Ticket Holder Guy
* Mr. Overzealous Foul Ball Catcher
* Mr. Paranoid of the Ocean Guy
* Mr. Supermarket Produce Putter Outer

2006 commercials

* Mr. Apartment Next to the L Tracks Guy
* Mr. Artificial Tree Maker
* Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor
* Mr. Cell Phone Holster Wearer
* Mr. Enormous SUV Driver
* Mr. Exotic Cowboy Boot Wearer
* Mr. Fantasy Football Manager Guy
* Mr. Hair Gel Over-Geller
* Mr. Half-Time Shooting Contest Contestant
* Mr. Holiday Gift Regifter Guy
* Mr. Hot-Dog-Eating-Contest Contestant
* Mr. Indecisive Food Orderer Guy
* Mr. Really Big Golf Club Maker
* Mr. Really Loud Cell Phone Talker Guy
* Mr. Ultimate Philadelphia Sports Fan
* Mr. Way-Too-Proud-of-Texas Guy

2007 commercials

* Mr. Automatic Tax Extension Filer
* Mr. Baseball Stadium Glove Wearing Guy
* Mr. Basketball Shoe Designer
* Mr. Blue Aluminum Bottle Maker
* Mr. Chazz Michael Michaels (re-release of 2001’s Mr. Professional Figure Skater, but specially branded for the 2007 film, Blades of Glory)
* Mr. Chicago Bears Fan
* Mr. Doggy Day Spa Operator
* Mr. Good Luck Chuck Wedding Guest Number Four
* Mr. Local Texas Football Hero Guy
* Mr. Overly Competitive Touch Football Game Player
* Mr. Over-Zealous Foulball Catcher
* Mr. Oxygen Bar Inventor
* Mr. Professional Sports Leg Cramp Rubber Outer
* Mr. Refuses To Turn On His Air Conditioning Guy
* Mr. Retired Professional Football Player - inspired by Mike Golic of ESPN Radio
* Mr. Rolling Cooler Cooler Roller
* Mr. Stadium Scoreboard Marriage Proposal Guy
* Mr. Taxi Cab Over Accesorizer
* Mr. Tollbooth Collector
* Mr. T-Shirt Launcher Inventor
* Mr. Unathletic Sports Radio Talk Show Host - inspired by Mike Greenberg of ESPN Radio