May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.

Here’s to husbands and sweethearts. May they never meet!

Men are somewhat like sausage,
Very smooth upon the skin;
But you can never tell exactly
How much hog there is within.

To the men I’ve loved,
To the men I’ve kissed,
My heartfelt apologies
To the men I’ve missed.

Here’s to the men we love,
And here’s to the men that love us.
But the men we love aren’t the men who love us,
So screw the men and here’s to us!