Family Guy Drinking Quotes & Beer Quotes

Lois: “Peter, what did you promise me?”
Peter: “That I wouldn’t drink at the stag party.”
Lois: “And what did you do?”
Peter: “Drank at the stag pa– … Whoa. I almost walked into that one.”

Peter (after coming home drunk): “Oh, Lois thank God it’s you! The last few houses I went to were very rude.”
Lois: “You’re drunk again.”
Peter: “No, I’m just exhausted ’cause I’ve been up all night drinking.”
~The Family Guy

Lois: “Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you’re drunk!”
Peter: “Now that’s not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I’m drunk!”
~The Family Guy

“Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?” ~The Family Guy

“Now kids, Daddy only drank so the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off.” ~The Family Guy

“Wow, it’s like I’ve died and went to heaven. But then they realized it wasn’t my time yet. So they sent me to a brewery.” ~The Family Guy

“Lois, everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery.” ~The Family Guy

Lois: “Oh my God, my baby’s drunk!”
Peter: “No I’m not! Oh–him. Yeah, he’s a real lightweight.”
~The Family Guy

Peter: “Woah! Is that really the blood of Christ?”
Priest: “Yes.”
Peter: “Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day, huh?”
~The Family Guy

“C’mon, let’s go drink ’til we can’t feel feelings anymore.” ~The Family Guy